just a random thought which struck me.
okay.suppose there is a certain something which you value a lot.more than anything or anybody.you would give or take lives to protect that something.but then one day,situations force you to give it up.you cry,plead and pray so that you dont have to give it up.but well,you dont seem to have any other choice.
and ultimately,when you do gather up the courage to give it up,you get to know that you dont really have to.things can be normal even if you dont give it up.thus,you are left with no choice but to embrace it again,and even if you do embrace it,you realize that somewhere down the line,the fierce passion to keep it as your possession is fading away.you care for it,but not as much.you would cry plead and pray if you ever have to give it up again,but you would also know how to let go of it.you would know that when once you have had the courage to give up what you want the most,you'd have the courage to give it up again-if ever the need arises.and i guess thats what is known as strength.having the courage to give up what you want...more than anything or anybody.
a very very random post.it might just confuse you. :)
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Sunday, October 11, 2009
gone with the wind
This entry has long been overdue.This is in dedication to Margaret Mitchell's epic love story,Gone With The Wind.
Keeping the Civil War as the backdrop,Margaret Mitchell did a highly commendable job with the book.The horrors of the war and the events were vividly described and a shiver ran down my spine at every gory detail.
Personally,the character of Scarlett O'Hara is my favourite.She is shown as a typical human being-not as some saintly virtuous protagonist who sacrificed everything for her family and loved ones.Scarlett O'Hara is a ruthless,unscrupulous,practical and selfish woman.She did what she did for herself and for nobody else.But in spite of what she did,one is left with no choice but to respect and admire her strong and undaunted personality.
Rhett Butler is a cynical character and an egoist.Despite his attempts to hide his love for Scarlett with mockery of her character and inspite of wondering whether he truely loves Scarlett,I could not but help like his character.He is definitely not my definition of an ideal man-but he has a certain aura of wickedness about him which is highly seducing.He is the "bad guy"-one whom society despises-and mothers warn their daughters about-but this is precisely what makes Rhett Butler so attractive and desirable.
While I was in the midst of reading this book,somebody asked me," Why are you reading this book?" Amazed,I had replied that i wanted to and asked her why she had asked such a question.To that,she smiled and said,"last obdi por,bujhbi."
I strongly believe in happily ever afters, so needless to say,the end came as a huge shock.It seemed so unjustified that one should fall in love with the other when the other had already fallen out of love.But the end is probably what makes the book so special.Every word of Rhetts departing speech is a blow to both Scarlett and the readers,and although you want to cry at the unfairness of it all,it seems so practical and obvious that the tears just dont seem to come out.
All in all,Gone With The Wind did have a special effect on me,and just as the book keeper of the golpark footpath bookstore said to me,"This is one book you must have at home."
Keeping the Civil War as the backdrop,Margaret Mitchell did a highly commendable job with the book.The horrors of the war and the events were vividly described and a shiver ran down my spine at every gory detail.
Personally,the character of Scarlett O'Hara is my favourite.She is shown as a typical human being-not as some saintly virtuous protagonist who sacrificed everything for her family and loved ones.Scarlett O'Hara is a ruthless,unscrupulous,practical and selfish woman.She did what she did for herself and for nobody else.But in spite of what she did,one is left with no choice but to respect and admire her strong and undaunted personality.
Rhett Butler is a cynical character and an egoist.Despite his attempts to hide his love for Scarlett with mockery of her character and inspite of wondering whether he truely loves Scarlett,I could not but help like his character.He is definitely not my definition of an ideal man-but he has a certain aura of wickedness about him which is highly seducing.He is the "bad guy"-one whom society despises-and mothers warn their daughters about-but this is precisely what makes Rhett Butler so attractive and desirable.
While I was in the midst of reading this book,somebody asked me," Why are you reading this book?" Amazed,I had replied that i wanted to and asked her why she had asked such a question.To that,she smiled and said,"last obdi por,bujhbi."
I strongly believe in happily ever afters, so needless to say,the end came as a huge shock.It seemed so unjustified that one should fall in love with the other when the other had already fallen out of love.But the end is probably what makes the book so special.Every word of Rhetts departing speech is a blow to both Scarlett and the readers,and although you want to cry at the unfairness of it all,it seems so practical and obvious that the tears just dont seem to come out.
All in all,Gone With The Wind did have a special effect on me,and just as the book keeper of the golpark footpath bookstore said to me,"This is one book you must have at home."
Monday, August 31, 2009
:)
I would like to dedicate this entry to three very special women of my life.
1. I wouldn’t be, if you weren’t there. You are my God, my strength and my weakness, my beginning and my end. I’ve felt you around me..as my canopy..for 16 years and 13 months now..as my pillar of support,my ocean of faith. Nobody can ever love me as unconditionally as you do,inspite of the rude arrogant monster that I am. You are an enigmatic and wonderful woman,and I’m proud to be YOUR daughter. You inspire me in a way nobody can.“ I owe everything I have,to you…mother sweet mother of mine…”
2. This is to the lady who wished me into this earth.The lady, who was then a five year old-and who prayed to God to give her a baby sister. Thank you. Inspite of all the terrible fights we have, I’ve come to love you unconditionally in the last 16 years. You are a strong girl and I respect you and admire you for the person you are. May you get all the happiness you ask for,for I don’t know a second person who deserves it as much as you do. You are…..” the sister of my heart…”
3. The best friend I never had. Thank you. Thank you for allowing me to be me when I’m with you. Thank you for all the moments we spent together. Thank you for being my mirror…and my treasure trove of secrets.
I don’t know where we’ll be 10 years from now and how things might be..but I’ll always love you for being there during my worst lows and the best highs.
“You ask me how,
I know, its true
That the kingdom of heaven
Abides in you.
Well, I’ve seen it there
And I’ve heard Gods voice
Each time you make
My heart rejoice.”
1. I wouldn’t be, if you weren’t there. You are my God, my strength and my weakness, my beginning and my end. I’ve felt you around me..as my canopy..for 16 years and 13 months now..as my pillar of support,my ocean of faith. Nobody can ever love me as unconditionally as you do,inspite of the rude arrogant monster that I am. You are an enigmatic and wonderful woman,and I’m proud to be YOUR daughter. You inspire me in a way nobody can.“ I owe everything I have,to you…mother sweet mother of mine…”
2. This is to the lady who wished me into this earth.The lady, who was then a five year old-and who prayed to God to give her a baby sister. Thank you. Inspite of all the terrible fights we have, I’ve come to love you unconditionally in the last 16 years. You are a strong girl and I respect you and admire you for the person you are. May you get all the happiness you ask for,for I don’t know a second person who deserves it as much as you do. You are…..” the sister of my heart…”
3. The best friend I never had. Thank you. Thank you for allowing me to be me when I’m with you. Thank you for all the moments we spent together. Thank you for being my mirror…and my treasure trove of secrets.
I don’t know where we’ll be 10 years from now and how things might be..but I’ll always love you for being there during my worst lows and the best highs.
“You ask me how,
I know, its true
That the kingdom of heaven
Abides in you.
Well, I’ve seen it there
And I’ve heard Gods voice
Each time you make
My heart rejoice.”
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Now.
Exams are on,but funnily it doesn't seem so.
I'm not studying the amount I'm supposed to and I dont know what's gonna happen. Like every other 16/17 year old who's just come up to the 11th,I'm suffering from the "oh-its-11-so-i-wont-expect-to-pass" syndrome.
And the countless bandhs have in fact helped me get into this holiday mood right in the middle of the exams.
I just want to get over with thursday.And then..my holiday begins. :)
This is a lousy post,so kindly pass.
I'm not studying the amount I'm supposed to and I dont know what's gonna happen. Like every other 16/17 year old who's just come up to the 11th,I'm suffering from the "oh-its-11-so-i-wont-expect-to-pass" syndrome.
And the countless bandhs have in fact helped me get into this holiday mood right in the middle of the exams.
I just want to get over with thursday.And then..my holiday begins. :)
This is a lousy post,so kindly pass.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Results!!
Well,I managed to scrape a 92.8% in my boards.And I have no idea how!
It was a pensive night on the 19th..and i finally dozed off at 3:30,after finishing half a bottle of grappo fizz, one short story, and one episode of tom and jerry.
Sohini had come over on the morning of the 20th,for she wanted to check her results along with me. I truely can't explain how we spent that half hour between 10:30 to 11.
But just nanoseconds before the screen displayed my result,i became numb.And even after I got my marks,I felt...nothing.I somehow managed to calculate my percentage..with shaky hands. But again,I felt nothing.Absolutely nothing.For it just did not sink in.
And to be absolutely frank now,I did not expect this result in my wildest dreams! I was losing my sleep the night before thinking of what might happen if I got a 70%. Getting a 90%...was..well..i just drove that thought out every time it entered my mind!
But now that it has finally been absorbed by my system,all I feel is wonder.At how i managed to do it.I never completed solving more than five test papers for any subject.I never stayed up late,nor did i wake up early.Neither did i spend more than 4 hours studying continuously.I never made notes,and I never followed the ones I had.But all i actually did was read the text.And I went for the exams feeling totally unprepared.
Before anything else however,I must say that a whole lot of credit goes to my mum.After a tedious year of screaming,shouting,crying,howling...I must thank my mum,for had it not been for her constant recorded speeches and wise shooing aways,i probably would not have got what i have.
I'm happy for everybody who fared well,for i know how it feels to see a years hard work bearing fruit.I'm happy that I've been able to cross one small hurdle in life..although I know there are "miles to go before I sleep".....! I'm happy that Ive made a few people happy..for this is the least I can do to repay them.
Thank you dear Lord,for being with me. I love you. :)
P.S- NEVER EVER stop believing in wishing on mail-vans.They do come true. :)
It was a pensive night on the 19th..and i finally dozed off at 3:30,after finishing half a bottle of grappo fizz, one short story, and one episode of tom and jerry.
Sohini had come over on the morning of the 20th,for she wanted to check her results along with me. I truely can't explain how we spent that half hour between 10:30 to 11.
But just nanoseconds before the screen displayed my result,i became numb.And even after I got my marks,I felt...nothing.I somehow managed to calculate my percentage..with shaky hands. But again,I felt nothing.Absolutely nothing.For it just did not sink in.
And to be absolutely frank now,I did not expect this result in my wildest dreams! I was losing my sleep the night before thinking of what might happen if I got a 70%. Getting a 90%...was..well..i just drove that thought out every time it entered my mind!
But now that it has finally been absorbed by my system,all I feel is wonder.At how i managed to do it.I never completed solving more than five test papers for any subject.I never stayed up late,nor did i wake up early.Neither did i spend more than 4 hours studying continuously.I never made notes,and I never followed the ones I had.But all i actually did was read the text.And I went for the exams feeling totally unprepared.
Before anything else however,I must say that a whole lot of credit goes to my mum.After a tedious year of screaming,shouting,crying,howling...I must thank my mum,for had it not been for her constant recorded speeches and wise shooing aways,i probably would not have got what i have.
I'm happy for everybody who fared well,for i know how it feels to see a years hard work bearing fruit.I'm happy that I've been able to cross one small hurdle in life..although I know there are "miles to go before I sleep".....! I'm happy that Ive made a few people happy..for this is the least I can do to repay them.
Thank you dear Lord,for being with me. I love you. :)
P.S- NEVER EVER stop believing in wishing on mail-vans.They do come true. :)
Sunday, May 10, 2009
I went to meet dadubhai at his place that day.All along the way,i was pretty much normal,but just before entering his room...i dont know why,i said a quick prayer to myself...asking God for strength.However,what I saw inside was far worse than what I had imagined.Due to old age,his heart has weakened,and the oxygen carrying capacity of his blood has lessened.As a result,his responses arent working properly.He cant speak,he cant walk,he cant move...all he could do when I went in,was look at me.I dont know if he could recognize me,but it was traumatic to see what remained of him.I couldnt understand what his eyes said...for they didnt say much.They were completely blank.
And this time,prayers wont work.For there is no hope.And when there isnt any,what can one pray for? A miracle? But how long would that last?
When i got back home,the irony of the situation struck me hard.My dadubhai was a lawyer.A man of a thousand words.Today,words fail to escape him.
Life is strange,indeed.
And this time,prayers wont work.For there is no hope.And when there isnt any,what can one pray for? A miracle? But how long would that last?
When i got back home,the irony of the situation struck me hard.My dadubhai was a lawyer.A man of a thousand words.Today,words fail to escape him.
Life is strange,indeed.
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